Patience is a virtue… 5 top tips to enjoy the waiting game
Patience is a virtue
I am writing this post at 41 and a bit weeks pregnant. The reason I am writing it is that I need to hear this advice right now.
In life, especially in today’s society, we can become very focused on getting things straight away. We do not like to wait in a queue, we do not like to wait for a response to a message, and we do not like to sit quietly and reflect. We are just too busy for all those things.
Waiting for a baby to arrive has been the ultimate test of patience for me. The doctors set you a due date, which can be translated to a ‘guess date’. And the minute you go over that guess date you are going through a process to get that baby out. Having done my research I don’t feel like this approach sits well with my values. I am a fit and healthy person, I have had a low risk pregnancy and I am hoping for a home birth. My mother carried both my brother and myself for over 2 weeks past her due date (and genetics does come into it). So in conclusion, I feel I should fully trust my own body, and my baby, to do what is right, at the right time. Even if it doesn’t fit into the mould that is medical science.
Anyway, this isn’t a post about being pregnant, but it is more a guide on patience in life and trusting yourself.
Have you been in a similar situation where you are waiting for something and feeling frustrated or fed up that it hasn’t happened yet? It could be a promotion, finding love, or it could be a weight goal or even getting pregnant.
Achieving anything in life can be challenging and as a wise person said to me recently ‘when you wish for something so bad you can often do the opposite and stop it from happening’. Great advice, but also difficult to hear.
So how can we find patience and beauty in these moments of challenge?
The best answer that I can come up with is being kind to yourself and practicing self love.
I have been trying to take one day at a time and not think too far into the future. Because when you do that your mind goes into overdrive. It thinks ‘if this happens, then it means XYZ…’ and you can easily start to panic about an outcome that hasn’t happened yet. This can actually affectionately be called anticipatory anxiety. Not that it is always helpful to put a name to these things, but in case you were interested to know!
So what are the techniques I have been employing to get through this impatience and try to enjoy the journey?
Practicing self care. This is the absolute number one thing I would recommend. Self care means something different to everyone. For you it may mean reading a book, going to the gym or cooking. Start by figuring out what it is that makes you feel fully present and in the moment. For me, it’s taking a long, hot bath or sitting on the sofa reading a magazine. I could probably make a list of at least 10 things I love to do like that - so I urge you to write yours and start building these things in to the books and crannies in your life.
Talking to others and being open about your feelings. It can be easy to think that people are too busy to listen to your woes. I remember thinking this when those close to me were busy with new babies. However the truth is that the people who love you will always be there for you and no problem is too big or small or petty. Asking someone if you can share something with them is a good place to start. Because you are asking for their permission to give you their time. And you are also complimenting them along the way and not expecting them to be available right at that moment. Chances are the person will feel good about the fact that you appreciate their time and advice. I know it’s a cliche but a problem shared really is a problem halved.
Getting outside. It’s funny how movement really can make you feel better, despite the fact that the thought of exercise can often bring us dread. I have found that going out on walks on my own has given me time to think and reflect and I always arrive home feeling more upbeat and positive about whatever challenge I am going through. Find a place you love to visit, a park with beautiful flowers or a forest you can get lost in (don’t actually get lost!). There is something magical about finding a place that is just yours and you can visit in times of need. When you are outdoors, take the time to appreciate the natural beauty and wildlife around you. Don’t walk around glued to your phone, don’t even take your phone if you can avoid it. Smile at strangers along the way and find a place to sit and reflect on life. I promise you will feel great after!
Spending time with the people you love. No matter what you may think sometimes, you are truly loved. And being around the people that love you can feel like bliss. Plan a day out with your best friend or someone in your family. Or just find the time to hang out with that person. Take the time to chat, catch up and laugh together and you will instantly feel no sense of time at all! Time flies when you are having fun (another cliche!) and you will find any impatience completely dwindles.
Journalling. When you are going through a challenging time and feeling impatient about something occurring in life, it can be helpful to write your feelings down. It can feel uncomfortable at first but it can help you find release from the challenges of life. Plus it can be really fun to read your old journals a few years later (and cringe slightly!!). Journalling helps get the problems or worries out of our heads and enables us to move forward. If you are feeling impatient about something, write it down, write down all the reasons why you are feeling impatient and then look to understand the deeper meaning behind these thoughts. You could also write a gratitude list to focus on the positives in your life.
I hope some of these ideas will help you to enjoy the waiting game and I’d love to hear your stories of where you’ve had to find patience in a challenging situation…
Jennie, With Love xx
