The power of love
Have you had an experience where you have felt really badly treated by someone? Have you felt like you’ve spent way too much time all encompassed by your thoughts of hurt and pain?
....The answer for most people is yes. If you have seen that person face to face, heard their name mentioned or even seen them pop up on your social media what has been your reaction? Chances are you would have felt negative inside and your body language or mood may have changed.
How nice would it feel if you could make peace with that person? For you to move on and leave the negative feelings behind? For you to create better things in your life?
Something that Dr Wayne Dyer said once in an audio book really resonated with me about this. He explained that we all hold a picture up of that person that we have been hard done by. It may be a picture of the last interaction you had, them being mean, angry or hurtful. This picture evokes strong emotions in you and affects the way you feel. However, what is to say that that person hasn’t changed? I know this is hard to digest and accept, but people do change, we are always changing. That is one thing that we know for certain - every cell in our body is constantly changing. The person you know today will not be the same tomorrow.
So imagine someone hurt you 6 months ago. Is it fair for you to hold up that same picture today about that person? They may have had things happen in the past 6 months that have impacted them. They may have spent time reflecting and their experiences have put them in a different place today.
The best thing you can do is to start with a fresh slate and not allow yourself to hold a painting from the past about that person. One, because it isn’t true any more - they will have changed. And two and probably more importantly because it will not serve you at all. The best thing you can do is to have a blank picture in front of you and allow them to make a new impression each and every time you have an interaction with them.
You may be thinking how on earth can you do this. This part will sound strange perhaps but I have done it and it totally works.
You send them love. Normally when we have been hurt all we do is think bad feelings towards someone. I experienced this after my relationship broke down. He had so much hate for me it was unreal. I found it so tough because I know deep down that I am a kind, loving person and to see such hate directed at me was just heartbreaking for me. I really felt like I had fallen into the victim mentality mode. I was blaming other people and other things for the negative place I was in and I didn’t like, or recognise the person I had become.
After spending months feeling like a victim, I remember by gorgeous sister-in-law Lucy Bardrick recommended I listen to an audiobook by Dr Wayne Dyer (thank you Lucy Bardrick!). What he said was just life changing. I went for a walk in the woods and I listened intently and had a lightbulb moment. Dr Wayne Dyer is a very spiritual man and his clear message to me was that no matter what someone has done to you in your life, even if it is very negative, the only way forward is to send them love. These didn’t need to be physical messages like a letter or a text message. Simply just thoughts of love, kindness and good wishes. It sounds very simple and it really is. You could meditate and bring them into your meditation, or just sit with your thoughts of them and anytime you catch yourself replaying the negative situations, change your thoughts to loving kindness towards them. Ask yourself to expect the best from them, not the worst.
You are probably thinking this sounds almost impossible to do. It really is challenging and I cannot tell you how much practice and time it took me to get to this point. Trust me, it is much easier to sit in that victim mentality and share with others how we have been hard done by in an attempt to taint other people’s views of that person. We had lots of mutual friends and there were times when I thought ‘this is just so unfair that they still want to be his friend’. But I have come to realise that that is not a justifiable way to think or feel. Every person deserves a chance and can change.
I spent a lot of time practicing this technique and sending love and kind thoughts to my ex. I would go for walks and think positive thoughts, as opposed to the negative things I had been feeling before. If the negative and hurtful experiences came back to me I would accept that and simply switch my thoughts back to sending him love and good wishes. Karma is a thing, and to be honest knowing that also got me through. By sending him good wishes, despite all the horrible things that had happened, I felt that I must be in for something good in the future. Maybe that’s me negotiating with the universe but it seemed to work for me!
So how do I know it works? Well the results I saw were unbelievable. Over time things changed considerably and instead of conversations fuelled with hate and anger, we were able to have positive, adult conversations. We managed to compromise on things that we had been at loggerheads about. It wasn’t like we were going to be best friends or even see each other any more, but just having that peace in my life was a huge blessing and enabled me to move on. There is absolutely no way I could have moved forward with my life without using this practice to change my results.
If you are still sceptical about this I urge you to give it a go... Is there someone in your life who has upset or hurt you? Maybe try something small to begin with and see if you can turn around a relationship that doesn’t seem to be creating positive outcomes.
Remember that only you have the power to heal yourself.
Time for you to try it for yourself…
Spend time thinking about someone who has hurt or upset you in your life - it may be just one, or it may be many.
Write down in your journal their name(s) and what it is that has hurt you - get it all out!
Decide on one person and decide to spend your thoughts focusing on sending that person love and kindness.
Any time you feel this person come into your mind, catch yourself thinking anything negative and switch your thoughts to sending them love and kindness.
Keep practicing this on a daily basis - depending on the level of hurt it may take you weeks or month of practice.
Get in touch with me and let me know your results!
Jennie, With Love xx
