Negativity and why I have no time for it…
How much negativity do you experience and absorb in life?
Whether it is someone moaning about the weather, or a heath ailment. Whether it is the latest new in the television or someone bitching about a work colleague. I have absolutely no time for this in my life. I am not saying I’m perfect - far from it (what is perfection anyway?!). But I choose, as much as possible, to not be around negativity.
This isn’t an easy thing to do. If you’ve lived through 2020 you will know it has been an unprecedented year, full of fear and concern. So how is it even possible to not be aware and around negativity? And what is the harm in allowing yourself to be around negativity anyway?!
It’s a strange concept, because we are bought up so accustomed to hearing people complain, moan and judge. You just need to switch the tele on to hear bad news. It’s almost like we are taught to thrive and get excited about bad news stories. I wish it wasn’t that way.
About 5 years ago I stopped watching to the news, on occasion I hear it on the radio but I try very hard to avoid listening to anything like that first thing in the morning. I want my day to be set out on my terms, and not transformed into a negative spiral because of something I was told by an external source.
You may think this sounds naive of me, and I wouldn’t blame you for thinking this. I do think it is very important to be aware and involved in social movements, such as #metoo and Black Lives Matter. I find ways of knowing enough that enables me to have a point of view, and make an impact where I feel passionate. However I am not interested in being brought down by consuming media that is full of negativity.
We all know the realities of obsessing over the media and how we are expected to look and be a certain way. I am not down with that. I believe we all have our own uniqueness and there is nothing positive that can come from comparison or judging someone else. I’m not saying I have never done this. However I do know that the small bit of excitement that you get from making a comment on someone, doesn’t last long and eventually you just feel guilty and like there was absolutely nothing gained from it in the first place.
So how do I manage to minimise the negativity I surround myself by? Here are some top tips to help if this is something you are also passionate about.
1. Minimise media consumption
Like I have already said. I do not watch much tele and certainly not the news. I don’t spend hours scrolling social media and I mainly keep my ‘consumption’ to music on Spotify. Look at what media you consume and consider if it’s worth adapting what you do in any way. For example, is the morning news bringing you down?
2. Consider who you spend your time with
You know who the people are in your life that love a gossip! Consider who you spend your days with as this will influence your mood and the level of negativity you are exposed to. Find the people who lift you up and make you feel great and find a way to spend more time with these people. Sometimes this can be hard, especially if you realise your closest friend or a family member is actually a negative influence. But it will be refreshing to find some distance and see how it impacts you.
3. Remove yourself from negative situations
It can be really awkward when you get into a conversation that spirals out of control. I remember being at my Mum’s wedding and sat next to my Grandad. I started talking about Brexit innocently to make conversation and I wish I had never bought the subject up! Let’s just say we had very different views on the matter! My advice here is if you can (and you are not stuck in the middle of a wedding breakfast), remove yourself from the situation. Make an excuse like you need to use the bathroom or get a drink and make a quick exit.
4. Change the subject
If all else fails and you are in the middle of a conversation, a simple tactic can be to just change the subject. This may sometimes be tricky but it is a good way to change the energy in a conversation. Change the chat to be something more lighthearted or if you are really feeling offended by the conversation, actively ask someone to change the subject in as light hearted way as possible.
To summarise, negativity is something that can really bring you down. It can affect your mood and even have an impact long after the negative event you are exposed to. The more you surround yourself with negativity, the more it breeds. As we are beings made up of cells, exposing yourself to negativity on a regular basis can adversely impact your neural pathways to your brain, your immune system and digestive system.
It’s funny as on reflection maybe I should have titled this post ‘why I believe in a positive attitude’ - hindsight is a beautiful thing!!
Jennie, With Love
