Part 2 Interview with Pariss Sailsman - her journey & vision
I am so excited to have had the privilege of interviewing the founder of Journal To Dreams Pariss Sailsmen. Pariss launched Journal To Dreams in January 2021. Pariss is a specialist practitioner, and she works with women, children and families. She's also a writer and her ebook ‘Mindset Glowing’ is just incredible.
Pariss is all about empowerment, uplifting others, and her mantra is, ‘We're all gonna make it to the top.’ which I think is so incredible.
This blog is the second part of my interview with Pariss, here you will find out Pariss’s journey to becoming a business owner….
You will see Pariss’ responses in black, and my questions and reflections in orange.
If you want to read our discussion about parenting and the under representation of black women in business then head over to the first part of the interview by clicking below.
One of the things we're going to talk about is having a vision and feeling like you'll never achieve it. Tell me about your experiences and what we can learn?
So my journey started out with me thinking that I'm never ever going to achieve what I set out to do. The beginning of my journey was very much grounded in imposter syndrome, a lack of self belief, it really was a spiral.
But I had this passion and this burning feeling in my heart to create change and create a legacy, but I just didn't think I was capable of doing it. I really didn't. So rewind to around 2020, I had a lot of visions, I wanted to create change, I didn't know how, but I kept getting these premonitions or different visions come up for me.
I remember in 2020, I had a dream and it said, ‘the ball is in the court of the business owner’. And I remember jumping out of my sleep and writing it down in my notes in my phone. So that was the start of it. I didn't know what the business was going to be, or what I was going to be doing, but I just wrote it down. And that sparked it.
Later on in that year, I’d been working for the same company for five years, and realised I just wasn't happy. And I went on a downward spiral. I remember looking in the mirror and thinking, who am I? I don't feel proud. How am I going to make this change? And I had a huge breakdown. I really did. I don't even know how to describe it, but I just didn't feel it myself. It was almost like an out of body experience. I just didn't know who I was.
So that's when the journey started. So much happened… I'd had a child who was meant to be down syndrome. And then he was born healthy. Then I had postnatal depression, and I knew I needed to make a change. I remember thinking that I can't live like this anymore.
I started brainstorming and Journal To Dreams came up - I don't even know where that name came from. I think it's because I always used to write down my visions in my notes on my phone and the things that I wanted to achieve. So I just picked Journal to Dreams because I needed to start making these dreams a reality.
There's really only two things that can happen. You can succeed or you can learn. So that's where it started, just putting posts on Instagram, and then it gained traction. And I think the main thing was because I was leading by heart, I wasn't thinking about what was posted. I was just posting. And I think that's how you find your tribe, isn't it when you're just being authentic to yourself?
Let’s talk about your ebook… Considering what you have said about self doubt and imposter syndrome, was writing a book something you ever thought you would be able to achieve?
It was the end of 2020 that I had this emotional breakdown, and I went off sick from my job for three months. And in that time, my grandmother passed away as well. So there was just a lot going on. And I thought, ‘you know what, how can I use his time to create change and create legacy for myself and for others?’ And I just started writing, I was just throwing things on the on the page, that’s how it started, and I didn't even think that I was going to release it at that time, it was just a case of journaling really, just writing things down.
Then I started sectioning things off into different areas, and thinking ‘what would I want to say if I was trying to overcome a challenge, or what would I want to see in a year's time, based on how I feel now?’ And that's where it came from!
I wanted it to be something reflective, because I get bored easily. So it needs to be short. That's why I thought an ebook would work. And it needed to have some areas of reflection, hence why there's small little activities and stuff in there. And it needed to have some testimonies for myself. So it felt real. So those are the things that are in there.
Now It's on the website. I don't often put it on my social media or anything, but people are still buying it. And the feedback has been really amazing. So it's a blessing. And I wanted it to be affordable as well.
So if people want to have a look at it, it's on your website, which is journaltodreams.com. Click the button below to go straight to Pariss’s website and to buy her ebook Mindset Glowing:-
If anyone out there wants to write a book, (for me, that's something that's definitely on my vision board) what would you say to someone in terms of how to start? I feel like we make goals sometimes that are really big, like, ‘I want to get a book published’, and it becomes so big that you think its never going to happen…
First of all, I would say it's never too big. And I can say that from personal experience. But I think in terms of achieving that, you have to be realistic in breaking it down into small sections. And what I would say as well, is make sure it's always from the heart, because then that way, it's never fake.
Just always make sure it's lived experiences, then I think you can't go wrong. Sometimes I think as entrepreneurs we can struggle to reveal our true experiences, because we would rather reveal what we think our business should be doing rather than it being a testimony of our actual experience or what they want to deliver to the world.
And I can never lose because I'm always doing. I'm intuitive and leading by heart. So that's all I would say - think about these questions…
Where do you think you can add value?
What's an experience that other people would benefit from?
What's a question that you think needs to be answered that you wanted to know previously in your journey?
You've got lots of amazing achievements. But what would you say is your proudest moment so far in business?
I think the first one is being confident when public speaking, if you would have said to me that I would be happy speaking to a group of people then I would not have believed you.
I still don't call myself a public speaker by any stretch of the imagination. It's just something that I fell into, because people wanted to hear my story. So being able to go out and speak to a room full of women, that still blows my mind. I thought why would people want to hear my story or what I've got to say, or the value that I've got to add? So that's the first thing because I just remember having a fear of public speaking and actually passing out when I delivered my first training. My limiting beliefs told me that I wasn't good enough.
I know that limiting belief was caused by my time in school because I was on the red table. The red table was a table for underachievers and I still remember that. I’ve only really been able to let go of that around three years ago.
Something else that I'm proud of is the workshops that I’ve delivered for women. I had one recently and one of the women just said look, I've never ever done shadow work. I've never encouraged myself to look within. It was part of the the workshop and she just said ‘you have been my change’. And that was amazing. Another woman who said ‘thank you for teaching me how to love again’. So just things like that I still can't quite believe. That's the change that I'm creating for people. And that to me is legacy. It really is.
Absolutely. And I think women in particular struggle with self love and looking after themselves and putting themselves first so the work that you do, like making people value themselves again is just so important.
The Journey Begins with yourself and self love. I've had to learn that I need to love myself unconditionally as well and love the darker parts of myself. And when I say darker, I mean the areas that I've repressed like the imposter syndrome. That's why it's essential for me to share my own journey. And speak about what your struggles because people need to see where I'm coming from as well. I think society teaches us that we can't be egotistical. We're not supposed to sing our praises and brag about the things that we've done. Yes, we are because we're proud. So why can't we tell people about the amazing things that we're doing?
So we've talked about your proudest moments, obviously, I'm going to ask you what have been your biggest challenges because I know you've talked about impostor syndrome. And I know a lot of people that listen to this podcast, definitely feel that as well.
Yeah, definitely. And I think one of the hardest things has been balance. If I'm completely honest. It's something that I didn't predict when I started this journey, balance in terms of balance with children and a family and a household. And those responsibilities, but balance in terms of myself my own journey, having time for myself, and balance in when to stop giving.
I almost feel like when you're employed, at five o'clock you can switch off because you know that is in the hands of somebody else. It's somebody's organisation, there's always somebody at the top that could oversee things.
But in business, you are at the top. So when do you switch off? And when can you turn your laptop off at night? And when do you think ‘okay, time for a break?’ I still call myself a baby business. Because I'm still very much in the early days. I'm still trying to strike that balance.
I think I'm starting to get better at it now, for instance, in August I reduced my work. And just became more intentional getting out in nature, spending time with loved ones, spending time with my kids. Having balance and trying to be more intentionally, it's hard. And a lot of the clients that I work with say ‘how do you do it?’ The truth is, it's a juggling act. And it's difficult. And I'm not gonna sit here and say it's not hard. But you have to schedule, you have to prioritise, time is so important. So use it wisely.
You and I started our businesses at similar times in 2021. In the middle of the pandemic. What do you think is next for Journal To Dreams? What are your next goals and what are you focusing on?
So many things! And that's why we've had so many conversations, because I think that's what you do really well. In the past I have just rolled with things. And I'm not always amazing at the strategy side. But there needs to be strategy as well, it's not my strength, which is why I like to discuss things with you.
I love to deliver and just be around the clients. There's so many things I want to do, and I keep having to write things in my phone, I've got so many visions. So I want to do a retreat, but with children and families. So you might have kids in one area, and then you might have support for the couples, and single parents.
I want to do specific workshops for young females. And I’ve had some early planning meetings for these workshops which I would love to bring you into.
I want to do an event. So like a really intimate event, around 30 women to start with, where I can have a panel of female guest speakers and goodie bags. And we just share. I want it to be really grand, like in a lovely environment. Get women together and celebrate women, I would love to do that.
I also really want to build a team. But I'm really mindful that it has to be people that lead with their heart and are also really passionate. So I need to make sure that whoever I'm bringing in, has that same drive. I'm not too bothered about accolades and things like that. I just want you to love what you do and just want to serve women, children and family. That's the vision.
A couple of things to wrap up. Going back to your mission for Journal To Dreams, you're all about helping people finding their truth. So how can people go about doing that? What practical tips can you give them?
Being present is the first thing I didn't know how to be present. I thought I was present. But I learnt sitting down in my living room, watching a bit of TV with my family isn't being present, because it isn’t intentional. I was there, but I wasn't present.
The first thing is creating space for yourself. If you have to schedule it in and put an hour for you on that day, and go out by yourself, whether that's in nature, or whatever makes you tick. Know what your ‘why’ is and know what you want your legacy to be, know what makes you happy.
So that's the foundation, spending time with yourself. Because spending time with yourself can be hard. And it can be emotional, and it can be difficult because it forces you to look within. I love the drawer analogy where you've got this drawer in your house, we throw stuff in, you shut it and you ignore it because you’re scared of what's going to be in there when you open it. You have to open that drawer and start exploring what you want.
A great thing to do is finding out what your love language is, what makes you upset, what your triggers are. And that's where I will start in terms of living my truth because only then can you start to make changes going forward.
Discover your Love Language here:-
Pariss thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me, how can people get in touch with you if they would like to?
My website is journaltodreams.com
My Instagram and Facebook is @journaltodreams
And I just want to do one last plug for your ebook mindset glowing, because that is incredibly inspiring if you want a little piece of Pariss in your life, and that is the best way right now - buy it here
Thank you so much for coming and speaking on the Jen Lister Podcast! I'm genuinely so grateful.
It's been amazing. And as always, thank you for having me. I'm so blessed to have you on my journey. So thank you for everything.
