Why I believe you should always blame yourself

Taking responsibility. That is what I feel like writing about today.

I don’t often write about things that are ‘negative’ but today I feel the need to.

One of the things I really struggle with is when people blame others for situations. And how the result of this is someone off loading their feelings on you, as if it is your fault.

I am really passionate about taking responsibility for your own life. It is yours to live and no one else’s.

Before you accuse and attacking someone for something that has happened, take a moment to consider how they may be feeling. Put yourself in their shoes. There may be more context to the situation that you are not aware of.

Some people constantly see the negative in things, but that has no purpose other than to cause you pain and cause pain to those around you.

Life is much happier and fun if you instead see the positive in everything and everyone. I get this is not always easy to do, but it is worth considering.

I’ve had a situation recently where someone sent me a message telling me they were upset about something that has happened that I had been involved in. Receiving this message created a load of unnecessary stress in my body, it caused me to lose sleep and feel anxious about it. I thought ‘why are they even telling me this?’. They turned something that was meant to be truly special into something that was all about them and their feelings. They have no concept of what is going on in my life, yet they feel the need to share with me their feelings.

I am sure the fact that it has created such an adverse reaction from me is a sign of something else showing up in my life, but I just felt the need to share.

Before you tell someone how they have made you feel, take some steps to consider your actions…

What is that persons situation? Are they a vulnerable person? Are they going through things that you aren’t aware of? How can you show empathy to that person?

Is there more context to the situation? Do you know absolutely everything to give you the context you need? There are often many versions of the same events, so bare this in mind when you are sharing your feelings. Remember, you may not have all the information.

Be kind with your words. There is no point in creating conflict from a situation. Try to communicate with kindness and compassion as people will appreciate that.

Sometimes it’s best to keep things to yourself. I think sharing your feelings is important, but sometimes it is worth considering that it could be best to keep things to yourself. Sometimes it’s not worth creating a drama or conflict and it can just cause longer term damage to your relationships. If you really feel the need to share then seek out a trusted friend or your partner and tell them instead!

Take responsibility and blame yourself. If you feel hard done by in a situation, consider the role you have played. This may be hard to hear, but I find that it is always best to blame yourself instead of others for a situation you find yourself in.

Take it as a learning experience. What can you learn from it? Can you find a positive somewhere? See the opportunity it creates and dig deep to figure out what this is.

Don’t make it about you. Finally and most importantly, take yourself out of the situation and prioritise the feelings of others before you share.

I felt the need to write this blog today, I hope it helps and provides some inspiration on how we can take responsibility in our lives and consider how we approach the challenges we face.